The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown

I’ve just finished reading the book The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown  and can’t stop thinking about the teachings in it, especially all of us living in such disconnecting and, at the same time, connecting times. 

I want to share with you some bullet points that struck me and got me thinking.

Point #1. Shame loves secrecy. The most dangerous thing to do after a shaming experience is hide or bury our story. When we bury our story the shame metastasizes. So when you feel shame for any reason the quickest response to that is «I need to TALK to someone RIGHT NOW»

Point #2. You need to share your shame story with the right person. It has to be someone who you know is DEFINITELY gonna take your side and be there for you and with you no matter what. You cannot trust yourself to someone who is going to make you even more miserable.

Point #3. Speaking honestly and openly about who we are, about what we are feeling, and about our experiences (good or bad) is the definition of courage. Asking for what you need is one of the bravest things you can do.

Point #4. If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe we are worthy of love and belonging. When we let go of what other people think and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness. 

Point #5. We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows  from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection. 

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. 

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed, and rare.

I understand that those words are out of context and to fully comprehend the true meaning, one should read the whole book. My idea was to share with you and inspire.

Viktoriia Simakova